


fresh off the presses

by fan_nerd



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bookstore AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-09 17:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8905834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fan_nerd/pseuds/fan_nerd
Summary: Based on his book selections, Yuuri's not sure if this regular is a horny pervert, a cop, or a nerd.Victor is weird and eccentric, and the bookkeeper is pretty sure that the man has never come in with his hair combed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> when will the government finally stop my grubby, AU-hungry hands ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> thanks to everyone stopping by, and thank you, as always, fandom, for your kind words and overflowing support. i am truly so grateful. ♥
> 
> ~~ps: episode 12 buried me in the _FUCKING GROUND_ and revived me, don't think i'll ever be over it, my skin is on fire~~

Yuuri organizes the criminal fiction novels with the cart rattling in front of him. He barely keeps from hitting a tall man with a small wheeze. As soon as he opens his mouth to apologize and looks up, he finds out that it's the same trashy looking dude that hangs around various parts of the bookstore and stares at novel synopses for hours. "Hey," Yuuri tiredly pushes his glasses up and maneuvers the cart around the silver-haired man. "I'm just restocking, you're welcome to stay there."

"Oh," the man blinks. Yuuri thinks to himself that this guy could be really handsome if he would ever properly shave his face and comb his hair. Instead, today, he's got a scarf wrapped around his scruffy neck, and he's squinting his sea-colored eyes at this novel. Yuuri's read it, and he supposes it's _okay_ , but it's not really worth the scrutiny that this regular is giving it. "Sorry." The man scuttles to the side, opening the book and flipping through the pages.

Yuuri rolls his eyes and starts methodically placing books on the shelves in order of author. He places more books in the _C_ section, one of which the regular had been studying, back on the shelves. Just days ago, the same man had come in and stared at Civil War annals. Weeks ago, his focus had been on guides with sex positions that had stupid names that could have been ripped from _Cosmopolitan_ magazine. Things like:  _Improve Your Sex Life With These Need-to-Know Moves._

In short, the bookkeeper can't get a read on the guy. He goes through every section of the bookstore like a lost puppy, he never wants help, and he leaves with sixty dollars of books in his arms, so nobody complains. He never stirs up a fuss - he's just  _weird_. And grungy.  _Annnd_ , he's staring at Yuuri now, so he huffs and looks over at the man. "Do you need something?" He's lost the patience to be nice to this guy, especially since he almost never answers simple questions like this.

"I was just wondering," the man replies softly, immediately taking Yuuri off guard, "Whether this book was...worthwhile. You keep glaring at his novels." His voice is deep, lilting, and his English is a bit stilted, which gives Yuuri the impression that it's not his first language.

"Well, it's okay, I guess," Yuuri answers with a shrug, crouching down to rearrange the books on the bottom shelf before putting new novels down, complete with little display panels that fit underneath the featured tomes. "A little dry. His work is a bit too choppy for me to get into, I think. His short stories are better."

"You think so too?" The bookstore regular hums quizzically and Yuuri raises an eyebrow at his tone. "I keep hoping for better from him, but I don't know. I think his style is simply too young for my tastes."

"Yeah," Yuuri agrees. "That pretty much sums up how I feel."

"That's exactly what I told the studio," the man grumbles, putting the book neatly in its' place, even though this forces him to loom over Yuuri for a moment. "They told me,  _make this work into a masterpiece_ , and I said that the author had to do that themselves. His writing is good, yes, for a young person, but I fear that I will wind up spearheading a depressingly sophmoric production. I am currently contemplating bowing out."

"Woah," Yuuri gasps, suddenly shocked to find out that the guy has a job - and more importantly, it sounds like a damn influential one. "Studio?"

"Ah, my apologies," the other man mumbles softly, fiddling around in his pockets for a business card. It reads  _Victor Nikiforov, Casting Director_  so he can put it away. "Do you have any interest in TV programs?"

"Not really, sorry," Yuuri admits softly, feeling guilty about having to say no.

"It's better that way," Victor smiles, sighing at long last and tucking the book under his arm. "I might as well read more than a blurb before I completely dismiss it. I'll pick up a couple of classics to break up the monotony." He picks up copies of  _Frankenstein_ and  _Dracula_ before following Yuuri over to the checkout counter. "If I'm crying the next time I come in, just leave me for dead."

"Ha," Yuuri snorts, a wry smile creeping onto his face. "That'll be fifty-six forty-seven. See you next time, uh," Yuuri sheepishly bags his books and looks up at the unkempt man. "Sorry, forgot your name."

"It's Victor," he replies, holding out a hand. "And yours?"

"I'm Yuuri," the bookkeeper answers, handing over the bag with a smile. "Have a good one."

"Same to you." Victor smiles back, sweeping out of the store.

//

The next time Yuuri sees Victor, he's sitting on the ground in the teen fiction section with a gloomy expression, and he looks more well put together than Yuuri has ever seen him. He's clean shaven, his hair has less flyaway pieces and cowlicks than usual, and his clothes are - well, they're a mess; all the buttons are off and he looks like he hasn't slept, but overall, it's an improvement.

He blearily looks up when Yuuri cautiously approaches to make sure Victor isn't sleeping. Victor smiles, but death is looming in the vacancy of his eyes. "Hello again," Victor murmurs, shakily pushing himself to his feet, dusting his butt off as he gets up. "Sorry. Almost dozed off there."

"You look horrible," Yuuri blurts out, then covers his mouth and colors, stammering apologetically. Victor laughs. "Sorry! I'm really sorry, that came out wrong. Are you okay?"

"Probably not," Victor says quietly, covering his mouth while he yawns, bangs falling over his left eye. It's been a couple weeks since his last visit, and Yuuri has to admit that he's curious about what he's been up to. "The production of the youth dramedy has started, much to my own dismay. I picked the best cast that I could, and the show has potential, but I really can't be bothered to keep up with it now. I have a new project coming up soon."

"That was a quick turnaround," Yuuri comments softly, running through the shelves for inventory and checking off little boxes on his checklist. "Must be tough, jetting all over the place. You never look like you've slept." He takes a quick whiff and is pleasantly surprised to find that Victor doesn't smell foul, so he says, "At least you've showered, or covered up your b.o."

"I shower, thank you," Victor grumbles lowly, and Yuuri chuckles. He takes a look at his horrible array of dress and sighs. "I usually dress so nicely, but by the time I make it here, I'm half-asleep and I've read more draft scripts than I care to admit. No job is quite so exciting in practice as it is in theory, and although this one pays the bills, I'm getting a little sick of the behind-the-scenes drama of the studio."

"I'm sure," Yuuri murmurs back, eyes lingering on a novel that he hadn't noticed before. It's a new release by one of the authors he'd  _adored_ as a kid, and his jaw drops slightly. When he finds that Victor is staring at him and smiling, he pulls his eyes away from the display and messes with his glasses. "S-sorry. Did you need help finding anything today?"

"Nope," Victor says, reaching over to grab the last copy on the shelf of the book Yuuri had been eying. Yuuri gapes at him - the  _nerve of this man_ \- and watches as Victor scoops up two more wholly unrelated novels. He stomps over to the counter to check him out,  _begrudgingly_ knowing that he'll have to put more copies out anyways, but after Victor swipes his credit card, he shockingly reaches over and hands Yuuri the book. "Enjoy."

"I could have bought it myself," Yuuri whispers fervently, taking in the beautiful cover with wide eyes. "I get a discount, too."

"It's a gift," Victor quips back, grinning as he takes his bag and hurries out of the shop. "Bye, Yuuri. See you next time."

"Bye," Yuuri waves to him as his voice trails off, trying not to feel so elated by Victor's small, kind gesture.

//

After this exchange, Yuuri gifts Victor with one of his all-time favorite novels when he comes back. He's been keeping it underneath the register he usually mans, and when he finds Victor in the crafts section, Yuuri stomps over and hands it to him, hardly giving Victor the time to open his mouth. "If you wind up having some free time," Yuuri says, fighting down his embarrassment while he scowls, "You should read this."

"I got roped into coordinating two informational films, so I daresay I'll have time," Victor muses while he takes the book. "What kind of book is it?"

"It's a modern fantasy," Yuuri replies quickly, organizing the messily opened art books lying on all the empty tables and putting the knitting books back in their proper places. "You know, a dash of magic or lore, but realistic settings and characters. That's probably my favorite genre, in general, and I wanted to repay the favor."

Victor blinks his wide blue eyes and scratches his five-o'clock shadow. "Favor?"

Yuuri pouts a bit and crosses his arms. "You know. When you bought that book I was looking at." Recognition dawns on Victors face and Yuuri rolls his dark brown eyes. " _Whatever_. I guess I didn't want to owe you anything, that's all."

"It was a gift," Victor says, putting the novel Yuuri gave him against his chest and smiling softly. "One which I suppose I shall have to pay forward again."

"Oh, geez," Yuuri grumbles as he restocks the N-section in historical fiction. "Don't worry about it. Just read that and let me know what you think."

"Alright," Victor agrees easily, squinting at a few titles on the shelf until Yuuri sighs and helps him find what he's really looking for. Victor admits that he gets horribly bored by non-fiction, so he winds up buying three books that fictionalize the colonial era of North America and he follows Yuuri to the check out counter. The two of them trade witty words until Victor leaves with a wave, and Yuuri grins when he's gone.

His coworker, Phichit, sneaks up behind him and slings an arm over his shoulder, already laughing before he even gets a word out. Yuuri feels immediately guilty for being caught chatting with a customer. "I thought you hated that guy."

Yuuri thinks back to all the times he thought Victor was homeless and decrepit, and feels like a fool. "We've talked a couple times now. He's not so bad."

Phichit pokes Yuuri in the cheek and sidles away to go put animal coloring books out on the display by the entrance.

//

A man rushes in weeks later, and Yuuri almost drops the load of books he's holding in his arms. He has silver-hair and a heart-shaped smile, a soft cable-knit sweater on, and  _holy fuck_ , he is really attractive. The oceanic eyes and the smooth voice betray the fine looks of the gentlemen, and Yuuri tries to make himself stop blushing when he realizes it's just  _Victor_. "That was one of the best books I've ever read," the casting director swoons and helps Yuuri put away the books so he can grab the shorter man's wrist. Yuuri seizes up at the gesture, mostly because it's so invasive and he's taken so off-guard by Victor's proximity because the taller man looks so well put together. "Do you have time to chat about it?"

Yuuri glances up at a clock at the informational kiosk and it reads  _four forty-two_ , which means that he's off in about fifteen minutes. "If you can wait, we can go to the café and talk. Just let me finish up and clock out."

"Yes, there's no rush." Victor walks away with an eager shine to his eyes. "See you over there soon."

Phichit hums and catches Yuuri's gaze as he robotically tidies the magazines. "You're willingly talking to a customer in your private time? Scandalous."

"We're  _not_ talking about this," Yuuri murmurs softly, sure that the tips of his ears are pink. The rest of his shift drags on for ages because he's itchy to go, and when his manager goes through a list of items-of-interest with him and congratulates his hard work, he hurries to the terminal to clock out, bundles his badge up so it's in his pocket, and rushes to sit where Victor is flipping through the novel Yuuri had loaned him.

As soon as Yuuri gets settled, he slumps into the seat and smiles at the man. "Hey. Sorry about the wait."

Victor shakes his head and carefully closes the book, pushing it forward so that it's closer to Yuuri. "It was no trouble. Did you want to get anything to drink?"

"I'm good," Yuuri replies quickly, feeling childishly excited to talk about one of his favorite novels. "So, what did you think?"

Victor waxes poetic about the characters and the setting, about how real the romance felt, about the struggle to find romance in a time of abstract complications, and so forth. He says that the way depression was handled really hit close to home, because he knows several people who battle with suicidal tendencies, and that all the magic in the world couldn't make those kinds of issues go away, so the fact that the main characters figured life out and made it work for them had been uplifting to find. He finally notes that it had garnered more emotion from him than eighty-five percent of the scripts he'd had to read the last month, which makes Yuuri flush for some reason. He shouldn't be embarrassed - all he'd done was make a recommendation, and he's just glad that Victor had enjoyed it.

Yuuri, all the while, nods along and answers any questions that Victor has, as he's spent more time thinking about the world of that novel than he has about his own plans for the future. The two of them bicker over the nuances of the female lead's speech and whether it is degrading or not before they agree to disagree. After that chat, they wander into talking about other books and things they've read recently, and after about thirty minutes, Victor reaches into his knapsack and pulls out a well-loved book of his own. "It's a collection of old Russian folklore. My grandmother gave it to me as a present when I first came to this country. It is a big part of how I learned to read English."

"That's really cool," Yuuri replies with a soft expression, studying the chipped edges and muted scribbles on the beautiful hardback novel. "How long have you been in the states?"

"Since I was twelve, so about eighteen years," Victor muses softly. "Time flies."

Yuuri chuckles and thinks to himself,  _You don't get to say cool stuff when you look nice._

"I look nice?" Victor blinks and Yuuri's cheeks burn, realizing that he'd said his thoughts aloud. When he notices that Yuuri is looking away and turning pink, he smiles toothily and leans on the table. "Aww, thanks for noticing. I'm in between projects right now, and I took this entire day to come over here and talk to you. I never would have imagined you'd be so passionate about books."

"Well," Yuuri mutters, willing himself to stop blushing  _immediately_ , "I work at a  _bookstore_. Why did you think I was here?"

"Oh, I dunno," Victor replies while rolling his eyes, "Probably just for a paycheck, much like how you thought I was a bum looking for some place warm to stay until I bought something."

"I want to go back in time and kick myself straight up the ass," Yuuri hisses, pouting harshly. Victor laughs in response. Eventually, Yuuri huffs and comes back to his natural pigment, putting the book away and smiling. "Alright, thanks. I'll take good care of it until you come back."

"You think I'll be back, huh?" Victor waggles his eyebrows knowingly and Yuuri gives him a dry look.

"I  _know_ you will," the shorter man says, standing up. "Who else is going to ignore the fact that you bought  _two_ separate copies of sex position manuals?"

"They were both critically acclaimed!"

"Still counts," Yuuri retorts, grinning as he leads the way out of the store and they chat all the way back to their cars.

//

They trade three more books back and forth before Victor sits back in his chair with a sigh, horribly unkempt, and kicks his legs out underneath the café table. "Do you do anything other than read and work?"

Yuuri shrugs, toying with the paper bag his croissant had come in. "I draw sometimes, but I'm not very good. I play a lot of chess on my phone."

"With your friends?" Victor asks, toying with the fringe of his hair, which is messily clipped back away from his face.

"Ha," Yuuri dryly laughs, keeping his fingers moving so he can focus on what he's saying. "I have, like, three friends, and none of them know how to play, so it's just me and the computer most of the time. I'm getting better. Nowadays, I can keep it held back at an intermediate difficulty."

"How very talented," the other man hums, smiling softly. "Any other hobbies I should know about?"

"I like swimming, I guess," Yuuri offers shyly, starting to flush. "Hey, when did we get to talking about me? New subject. Tell me what you like to do when you're not reading for fun or work."

"Being  _at_ work, mostly," Victor replies with snark heavy in his tone and Yuuri chuckles. "Oh, I don't know. I look at magazine catalogues for fashion ideas. Watch dog videos. After a day of staring at people pretending to be other people, I try to turn my brain off and listen to podcasts or something."

"That sounds like fun," the bookkeeper says, folding his arms over his chest. "Whatever you do, it's got to be better than sitting around here and listening to me geek out."

"No." The silver-haired man puts a hand on his chin and smirks. "It's really not."

Yuuri gets the impression that Victor is flirting with him, but he feels like that's a stupid assumption to make, so he just grumbles and returns to talking about horrible conventions of modern science fiction.

//

Three more months pass with their little chats about novels and the unconventional book club of two that they've started before Victor holds out a photograph that grabs Yuuri's attention. He waits until the bookstore attendant comes out of his daze to start his discussion, sighing and leaning his elbows on the small table. "I'll be traveling for the next few weeks, so I won't be able to stop by."

"Alright," Yuuri replies easily, even though he's a little sad to hear the news. Victor hadn't been a regular with a structured schedule for stopping by until earlier that year, so he shouldn't feel so disappointed, but it had been easy to fall into a routine of clocking out and chatting with the other man. "Where is this?"

"A private lake about four hours north of here," the silver-haired man replies with a stubborn pout. "I've asked the studio to stop sending me so many places, but I  _do_ have a job to do."

"This is really beautiful," Yuuri says in awe, fingers tracing the outline of the water. "How long will you be gone?"

"Only a month, I hope. It's a feature set for television, so there are a lot of applicants for the casting call and a lot of roles to fill." Midway through his grumbling, an idea dawns on Victor and he makes Yuuri's head turn up from the latest mystery novel that he'd brought from home for their book exchange. "Would you like to come visit?"

"Excuse me?" Yuuri's jaw drops and scoffs in disbelief. "How am I supposed to get there?"

"Drive," Victor says quickly, beaming eagerly. Yuuri leans back when Victor leans over the table, feeling suddenly a bit too warm in the face. "You could stay for the day, come and see what I do. I'll be free in the evening, so we can make sandwiches at the hotel and sit out by the lake if the weather is pleasant." Yuuri scrunches his face up and Victor leans over, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'd love to have you."

Yuuri colors and looks away, stammering with the full flush of embarrassment creeping over his skin. Victor's hand never does move, and Yuuri feels like his shoulder is burning. "Uh, okay. I guess I'll think about it."

"That's all I can really ask," Victor says, letting his hand linger on Yuuri's arm for perhaps a touch too long before he turns a new book over and studies the synopsis.

Yuuri can't focus on the lovingly worn novel in his hands because he's too busy trying to figure out what Victor's lingering touch means.

//

In the end, he asks for a couple days off work. He knows himself well; knows that he won't stay at the set for very long, mostly because his anxiety will set him on edge the whole time he's socializing. Yuuri fully expects to go, if only because Victor invited him to and because he wants to see the scenery of that photograph with his own eyes, talk to people for five minutes at a time, and then retreat to read his book in the shade. He finished Victor's book ages ago, had cried over the contents about three times, and he is admittedly restless to talk to the other man about it.

As he drives, he sighs and changes the song, which is a soppy romantic ballad. He doesn't need any more unnecessary thoughts kicking around his head right now, not when he has to focus on keeping his hands steady on the wheel for the following hours of monotony. He sings along with his favorite tunes and eventually lets the music wash over him while he glances sidelong at the turning propellers in the fields. After stopping to pee at a gas station and getting a candy bar, he eventually arrives at what he believes to be the right address, according to his GPS, so he gets out of his car and looks around.

A couple of young women are milling around and chatting. A comfortable breeze rolls by. There's a large building that looks like a cross between a studio and a lodge house, so Yuuri nervously approaches and is stopped by a stocky man wearing a lanyard around his neck. He is stern and square-faced, and he immediately makes the small bookkeeper nervous. "H-Hello!" Yuuri squeaks, waving awkwardly. "I was, um, Victor invited me here? The casting director?"

The man rolls his eyes and Yuuri tenses, terrified that he's going to be turned away. Before that can happen, he decides that he should dismiss himself, but the stocky man grunts and puts a hand on Yuuri's shoulder, making the shorter man inhale sharply and hold back a squeak. "Go through the other door. Think they're taking a break. Send him a text. Door might be locked." He walks off after that and Yuuri lets out a soft sigh.

He messages Victor with shaky hands, thinking to himself that he should have just texted him in the first place.  Since he feels like an idiot and a failure, he grumbles the whole time and contemplates whether it's worth it to just give up and go home. Just as he's thinking about revving up his engine and sinking more deeply into his shame, he hears a familiar voice and looks up. "Yuuri!" Victor is rushing out of a door about a hundred feet from Yuuri, and he hurries down the ramp to meet the brunette. Victor eventually comes to a stop just moments from Yuuri's face, intruding on Yuuri's personal space and making the shorter man flush hot with embarrassment and nerves. Victor wears a wobbly smile and carefully picks up Yuuri's hand. "You came." Victor bites his lips like he has more to say, but he just stands there and breathes, barely containing his elation.

Yuuri's heart pounds wildly in his chest and he gives Victor an unsteady smile back, adjusting his fingers so that Victor's warm palm is more comfortably aligned with his, and  _woah, holy fuck_ , Yuuri doesn't feel ready to die at the touch of another human being, and that freaks him out as much as Victor's hold calms him down. "Yeah," he finally chokes out the word, jamming his free hand into his pocket. "Hope it's still cool?"

"Very much so," Victor replies softly, squeezing Yuuri's hand and turning on his heel and dragging the smaller man to the area he'd sprinted from. "Are you hungry?"

Yuuri feels so dizzy that he could vomit, but he answers by saying, "Yep," and feels a little bit like slapping himself in the face.

//

Victor takes Yuuri around the lake side, as promised, only stopping to say hello to a couple of his peers. Since he hadn't expected Yuuri to come that afternoon, he shares his lunch of leftover red curry and naan bread. Yuuri isn't hungry, so he just nibbles a bit and listens to Victor ramble, pleased that he himself doesn't have to do very much talking. Victor talks about how well the production is going along, how passionate the team is, and how promising the tentative cast seems.

Once Yuuri relaxes a bit and eats a little bit more, feeling less panicked, the two of them slide into talking about Victor's latest recommendation. Yuuri scolds Victor for making him cry over stupid men yet again, and Victor shrugs, not looking sorry in the least. Victor leans back on his palms as Yuuri heatedly lilts up and down, carrying on a rambling conversation and eventually apologizing for going on for so long. Victor shakes his head and smiles softly at the other man, looking absolutely tickled to listen to Yuuri talk.

Eventually, Yuuri huffs and scowls. "I've been talking forever. Aren't you bored, or annoyed or something?"

"I love the sound of your voice," Victor says with a shrug, inching his fingers so that they are a hairs' width from Yuuri's own. "I love listening to you talk as well. I've told you many times, you're adorable when you get worked up."

Yuuri flushes at Victor's tone, covering his face with his hand and nearly knocking his glasses off of his face. "Oh, god, stop it. I'm going to get the wrong impression."

"What impression do you have of me now?" Victor leans closer to Yuuri and his mouth is open in a careless grin. He lowers his lashes so Yuuri can really see how wide his pupils are.

"The impression that you're a horrible flirt," Yuuri mutters, blushing and shoveling more food into his mouth.

"You'd be right, then," the taller man says, poking Yuuri's food-stuffed cheeks.

"Excuse me?" Yuuri replies blankly, except it comes out more like  _Emphgh eee_ because he's trying to chew.

"I am flirting," Victor beams, laughing lowly. "Albeit terribly. Thanks for noticing."

Yuuri coughs and spits out his food, nearly dropping the rest of the curry. " _Excuse me?_ "

"What?" Victor blinks innocently, vainly trying not to giggle. "You're cute, we have fun together, we're the same age, and you came to visit me at work." He smiles and watches as Yuuri turns deeply red and blushes lightly himself. "I was starting to think that my affections were one-sided."

"Affections? What, seriously, you were hitting on me?" Yuuri looks about ready to choke and die as Victor sidles up to him and his voice grows hoarse. "Wait, how  _long_ have you been trying to hit on me?"

"For a few months, give or take," the casting director replies quickly, holding out a hand and smiling like a naughty child. "I'm very happy that you're flustered over my silly crush."

"Well, yeah," Yuuri responds with a hot glare and misty eyes. "You could have, you know. Given me a hint. I've never been hit on before, and now I just feel stupid."

"Never?" Victor blinks in disbelief, barking out a laugh. "I don't believe you."

Yuuri pouts, looking down at the ground. "Yeah, well, sorry I'm not an attractive film professional disguised as a raggedy old man."

"I wasn't making fun of you," the other man says softly, reaching out for Yuuri's hand tentatively. "It's just that you're gorgeous." Yuuri flushes hot again at that, tensing when Victor's hand comes over his own, but refusing to pull away. "I think you're wrong, you know. You might not have noticed people hitting on you, but that's because you're wary and oblivious." Yuuri looks up at Victor with a gaping mouth, truthfully awed by everything he's hearing. "Don't look at me like that. You  _are_. I look at those soft cheeks, your crooked smile, your stern voice, your stubborn brown eyes, and I think to myself that I'm happy you're single." Suddenly, Victor's mouth bows lowly and he murmurs, panicked, "You  _are_ single, right?"

"Duh," Yuuri says, trying very hard not to cry. "Or, well, I guess, not for long? If you're actually serious about asking me out?"

Victor beams and tackles Yuuri to the ground, both of them breathing hard on the grass by the lake. "Yes, of course." Victor lies on Yuuri's chest and Yuuri wheezes, watching Victor reach up and fiddle with his glasses. "Would you like to go on a proper date when I get back in town?"

Yuuri sheepishly smiles and slowly reaches for Victor's hand, still too nervous to do more than that. "Sure. I'd love to."

After that, the two of them spend the rest of the time laughing at silly novel plots and dumb videos on the banks of the lake, softly reaching for each other's hands and reveling in the warmth of being connected.

//

Victor and Yuuri settle into a routine of shopping around bookstores that Yuuri does  _not_ work at.

Once they've debated over getting new titles or old ones, rummaging through novels like they're children, Yuuri remarks that Victor's been remarkably well put together these days. Victor retorts that he has a reason to spend time looking nice, winking at Yuuri while he says the words. Yuuri rolls his eyes even though he's blushing and smiling, holding Victor's hand in cafés and grocery stores.

They spend weeks talking about things that entranced them while they were working, about their childhoods, and so forth. Yuuri drinks in every detail of Victor, now that they're official.

It's awkward to think about. Yuuri adores Victor as a friend. He's cool with the flitting kisses and lingering touches. He even thinks about kissing his boyfriend on the lips in the future.

He's massively concerned to tell the other man that he's just not interested in sex. In any way. He panics and stresses, getting a bit too caught up in how well things are going and finding a hundred reasons to believe that things will fall apart. Victor holds his hand and looks at him, his blue-green eyes curious and open, and Yuuri fidgets, smiling back with his heart thumping strongly in his chest.

Being anxious and asexual is a really fucking shitty combination.

After waiting months and months for the other shoe to drop, Yuuri realizes that Victor really cares. Victor totters next to him when they go shopping for ugly Christmas sweaters, hugs him from behind, backs off if Yuuri asks him to, just stands next to him and rubs his stupidly quick-growing stubble on Yuuri's absurdly smooth face and Yuuri thinks to himself that he's ready to talk about things.

Just after the new year begins, Yuuri sits down for dinner at Victor's kitchen table, draws in a deep breath, and says, "I'm not really into sex, but, um, you can hug and cuddle me as much as you like, and we can. Um. Kiss sometimes?"

Victor beams, scooting his chair over so he's sitting next to Yuuri and their legs are touching. "If you like."

"You're not upset?" Yuuri's voice is soft and dangerously close to cracking.

"About that? No, never." Victor shakes his head and crosses their ankles underneath the table. "I'm more upset that you thought I would be."

"Anxiety," Yuuri reminds him, putting his fork down to turn and touch Victor's face, eyes running back and forth as he whispers, "You're really fine with it?"

Victor smiles softly and kisses Yuuri's cheek. "Yes, nerd. Now, let's finish eating."

"Hey," the smaller man elbows the taller man in the side and watches as Victor gasps for air. "Who quoted  _1984_ yesterday, huh? Not this nerd, oh no. You were all like,  _it's for the sake of the perfect casting_ , blah, blah, blah."

"I take your literary jab and raise you endless Poe quotes, which you take to reciting when work puts you in a mood."

"We agreed not to talk about that at dinner," Yuuri hisses, blushing furiously. "I just say them on accident, alright!"

"Or, you say them because you're still a melodramatic emo kid, even though you're thirty-one," Victor viciously retorts and Yuuri begins to tickle his boyfriend ruthlessly.

//

The hardest stint in their relationship comes when Victor gets stuck doing a lot more projects. Typically, Victor's studio only sends him on a trip for casting once a month, but Yuuri learns early on that part of the reason Victor has so much freedom and is paid so much is that he used to work in California. The studio trusts Victor with everything from casting for their long-running soap operas to the short specials they run for the holidays. Yuuri, meanwhile, continues to waffle over what he wants to do as a long-time career and why he has to feel so stupidly in love with his boyfriend of ten months.

Ten months is a long time, and yet, it's gone by in the blink of an eye. He doesn't remember what it's like to do anything other than sip coffee and read books with Victor on the couch, with Victor complaining about Yuuri's cold toes on his lap, and Yuuri complaining that Victor always overcooks the pasta when they eat in.

He wants to scream and cry and lose his  _fucking mind_ at the idea. He comes home and his mother stops him before he goes upstairs, staring straight through him and Yuuri wants to melt. He feels as though he could melt into the floor, and his head hurts when she smiles gently.

"Baby," she says, pushing his bangs out of his face and watching as his lips wobble and he starts to cry. "What's wrong?" She's gotten used to the sight of his clingy boyfriend draped over his shoulders, so the question is intended as a platform for Yuuri to speak and get out of his head for a while.

Victor's only been gone for a week. He's been gone longer, and Yuuri feels stupid for crying about being lonely. He never does manage to articulate any of that; he just cries into his short mother's arms, sobs choking out of him and his hands hot fists at her back. After he gets to the point that he's sniffling back snot and wailing, he says, "Feelings are stupid."

"It's good to feel things, sweetie," Hiroko murmurs, stroking her son's hair. "They prove that you're human. That you're alive."

Yuuri wails again at that, truthfully still in disbelief that someone like Victor could exist in his real life, and, furthermore, has dated Yuuri, who feels like a fucking  _mess_ , for almost a year.

Once he pulls himself together and slinks upstairs, he sends Victor a short text and is instantly relieved to see Victor respond, even if the message just says that he'll call Yuuri later.

//

Yuuri waits until Victor walks into the bookstore one morning, smiling at his boyfriend. He boldly grabs Victor's hand, cheeks red, and says, "Do you want to move in with me?" Victor stares at him in shock as they stand in front of the horror section. "I mean, obviously after your lease is up, and if, um, you'd like to, but I think it would really help me a lot, and, oh, man, uh—"

Victor finally cuts him off by pulling Yuuri into a tight hug. "I'd love to." It's the middle of August, so the air is blasting on them and Victor's smile is refreshingly warm. "You must have missed me a lot, huh?"

Yuuri rolls his eyes and burrows into Victor's chest. "Yes, dummy." After a moment, Yuuri softly continues, "I might also go back to school." He squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to panic. "You know, just as a heads up. I'll do my best to pay my share of the bills. The shop has a program to help pay for school, too, so I'll take advantage of that."

"Of course," Victor acknowledges Yuuri's concerns with a gentle hum. "We'll make it work. What are you thinking about going to school for?"

Yuuri looks up with shimmering brown eyes and Victor gasps, elated to see Yuuri so free of tension and grinning so defenselessly. "I think I want to teach English. I love art, obviously, but I love reading a hell of a lot more."

"That's great!" Victor twirls his boyfriend around, regardless of the fact that they're in the middle of the store and Yuuri stammers, looking over to his manager with an apologetic, nervous look. His manager just whistles and Yuuri groans. "You'll be amazing. Kids will love to hear you talk. I'm jealous that I won't be your only avid fan any more," Victor dramatically finishes, sighing.

Yuuri kisses Victor on the lips, initiating it for the first time  _ever_ , and in public, no less, which makes Victor flush deeply. "Yeah, yeah. Go straighten up, would you? Your buttons are all crooked again. How do you do this every time?"

"I rush," Victor says quickly, a little dazed. He touches his lips and murmurs, "But maybe you can help me after we move in together."

Yuuri colors again and looks at the floor, holding Victor's hand tightly. "I guess I can do that."

Victor kisses the top of Yuuri's head and flounces off to explore the shop for a few minutes, trying very hard not to skip as he goes.

//

Four months later, Yuuri and Victor move in together, and once they finish unpacking things in their ranch house, Victor turns on the gas fireplace and cracks open a script for a show that is delightfully diverse, which always cheers him up. Yuuri asks to join him on the couch, and Victor happily obliges.

They sit shoulder to shoulder and read until they doze off. Then, Yuuri twines their hands together and sleepily encourages Victor to follow him to their room.

Dreamily, Yuuri thinks this relationship is as unbelievabe as a novel, except that the story doesn't end with a neat little bow. Victor curls against Yuuri's back and takes a deep breath to smell Yuuri's hair. The taller man is warm and pleasant and childish and so much more than Yuuri feels he deserves. Yuuri is constantly terrified of how happy Victor makes him.

His anxiety is still real and tangible and he's always fighting his own head, but Victor breathes softly in his ear, saying, "You can think harder in the morning, Yuuri. Go to sleep," and Yuuri snorts.

Victor's voice can occasionally bring him back to earth, and for that, Yuuri is grateful. It's still not the same as getting immersed in a good book, but Victor's hands on his side as he sings softly and both of them doze off help him remember why he chose to fight for this. Why he's willing to stay instead of retreating back into his mind.

It's because Yuuri thinks that this is worth it.

He falls asleep with a smile.

Victor follows him to sleep some time later, waiting until he finishes humming his song and laces their hands together underneath the comforter.

**Author's Note:**

> yo listen,,, i love smutfic but. at the end of the day. im just. gross?? and a cheesy baby??? OTL
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoyed this!! have a great one ✮
> 
> say hi to me or shoot me a writing request on tumblr! [@wbtrashking](http://wbtrashking.tumblr.com/) (don't be afraid if i don't respond right away!! i take all my prompts v seriously and sometimes i get a little caught up in writing a fic in response ♥)


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